In retrospect, I tell you if Cupid's existence was real, well then the love bug hit me then. It just hit me because of all the circumstances that came my way, which led me to see the world with rose-colored glasses. Since that day in November 1987 and until we graduated he inspired me to go to school everyday (even on a Saturday and Sunday I'll go) OA ha!
How bad was it? How foolish was I back then?
I thought of him at least every hour in a day. I dreamed of him often. I would wish every night that tomorrow will be The Day he will tell me he likes me (yes, back then I was a good old-fashioned girl, you get that from listening to Teresa Brewer). And true enough the following day would almost be the day I was praying for.
Almost.... but we were always in class, surrounded by classmates, teachers and peers. And I thought he could never say that because (maybe) he might think he will embarrass me in front of a lot of people.
So I tried to get his attention anyhow, in other ways.... when he distributes workbooks in class, I'd pretend to accidentally hold on to his hand and say, "Whoops, I'm sorry" or if he borrows my Algebra Assignment, I'd gladly lend it to him; if he borrows my pen I would do the same.... ahh, so many incidents. Yet, ugh, that was me?
But he NEVER got the message, not even when I sent him a pre-Valentines card, he didn't search that well for me. I knew he showed the greeting card to our male classmates, just so he would know who sent it (he was trying to get clues thru the handwriting but I thought of that beforehand and asked a close friend to hand-write me that letter instead) He was even calling out for "Small Wonder" hoping maybe that "Small Wonder" would reply but hey, I never looked back at him. I knew he was seated at the far corner of the room, I kept a straight face pretending to be reading.
He never got the message, not even when his older brother courted me (after our JS prom) and he was the only link we had for communication. He was only playing matchmaker here, and I could just thank my lucky stars that at least he was talking to me now.
Just one day, he came near me, sat beside me and said in a "lovingly yours" fashion ~
"Chris... someone says "hello"....."I smiled sweetly and said
"Really? Who?" (can it be you?)
"My brother..." NYAIIKS!
Then he went on to build up his brother like he was recommending a valuable employee..... ending the conversation with,
" So, will I tell him it's okay?.... He's going to see you on our graduation .... hey, he's a handsome dude... I'll tell him that you also have a crush on him!!" He was so loud that our classmates and adviser heard him, they teased us thinking it was him who was courting me (embarrassing!), he was so happy for his brother he actually jumped for joy!
I just smiled, shaking my head,telling myself, " oh no, if you only know..."
Yet, aargh, nothing came of it because.... ganun pala ~ back to that batch presentation picture......
a fool am I, a fool am I in love
wahahaha
